I am the last barman poet...I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make...Americans getting stinky on something I stir or shake...The sex on the beach. The schnapps made from peach. The velvet hammer. The Alabama slammer...I make things with juice and froth ...The pink squirrel. The three-toed sloth...I make drinks so sweet and snazzy...The iced tea. The kamakazi . The orgasm. The death spasm. The Singapore sling. The dingaling... America you've just been devoted to every flavor I got ...But if you want to got loaded .... Why don't you just order a shot? Bar is open.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Happy Hour of the Week: Blue on Blue

Blue on Blue
At the Avalon Beverly Hills
9400 West Olympic Boulevard
Beverly Hills, California 90212
310 277 5221

Rating: On a scale of 1 – 4 shots
Overall- 2.5/3 Shots depending if you stick with the Happy Hour times or want to go a little later and pay way too much!

Location- 3.5 Shots. Right in the heart of Beverly Hills but a little off the main drag, this place is easy to get to (valet is free which is a big plus in Los Angeles) and if you have a little extra money and get too drunk you can always just stay at the hotel

Atmosphere- 4 shots. There is nothing more romantic than sitting by candlelight in a cabana poolside. The mix of crowd was young, yuppie and hot-ish, the usually LA hotel bar crowd.


Drinks- 3 Shots (during Happy Hour) but only 2 shots on a normal evening. More than anything in life I have having to pay 15 dollars for a Martini, it’s insane. And even worse was the 13 dollar glass of chardonnay that came, I kid you not, only 1/3 full! During Happy Hour (from 4-7pm Monday through Friday) the drinks go down to 8 dollars. Still a little pricey but at least a little more affordable.

Food- 3 shots (during Happy Hour) but only 2 shots on a normal evening. Once again during Happy Hour their tapas for to a great price- $6 for one item and $15 for three. Which is a big improvement over the $12 that the hummus was after 7. But I have to say- it was pretty damn good. Though on the plus side, I kept ordering more of the bread- which was equally as good and FREE.

Bartender/Waitress- 2 Shots. Come on guys, filling a wine glass only 1/3 full is not my idea of a good drink! Sitting outside we had a waitress, and although she was attentive I felt she was finding us a waste of her time since we weren’t drinking drink after drink, or ordering the more expensive bottles of wine that were on the menu.

A special thanks to Laura and Kelli for coming out and enjoying another weekly Happy Hour with me! And keeping me entertained with stories of bad dates gone wrong… wow we’ve had our share, haven’t we?!


Monday, July 21, 2008

Cocktail of the Week: Lazy Day Mango Daiquiri

After an exhausting weekend, my Margarita Mondays became Mango-Daiquiri Monday with this easy (read LAZY recipe)… and this made for a perfect Monday Afternoon laying on a pool float!

INGREDIENTS:
- 1 Bottle of Light Rum
- 1 Pint Mango Sorbet (though you can choose just about any fruit flavor you want)
- Orange Juice Ice Cubes (or just plain ice if you really are lazy)

Step One: The night before
Fill ice cube trays with Orange Juice (or if you want to go more traditional you can use Mango Daiquiri Mix). Freeze Overnight

Step Two: The day of
In a blender, puree 2 cups of Rum, a pint of Mango Sorbet and Juice cubes to taste. Pour into a pitcher, grab a glass and a pool float and enjoy!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Happy Hour of the Week- Millers Field

Millers Field
4465 Mission Blvd.,
San Diego, California, 92109
(858) 483-4143
Rating: On a scale of 1 – 4 shots
Overall- 3 Shots


Location- 0 Shots (if you live in LA) though 3 ¾ shots if you live in San Diego. This one is literally stumbling distance from Pacific Beach (between Garnet and Grand if you know anything about PB). A ¼ shot was deducted because it’s not literally on the beach, but from the outdoor patio on the 2nd floor you will be able to get a glimpse of the ocean!

Atmosphere- 2 shots. I actually choose this bar because it was fairly empty. Though mind you I was doing my happy hour during a non-happy hour at this bar on a Sunday afternoon in July. All the bars along the beach were rocking, and having to kill some time alone I actually was looking to just sit outside, have a beer and read a magazine. They also have free wi-fi so I have a feeling I’m not the only dork that has stumbled into that bar looking to relax with a beer alone!

Drinks- 3 Shots. I only had a Hefeweizen but I noticed that they do have really cheap Mimosas and Bloody Mary’s on Saturday and Sunday mornings until 1pm. Just wished that the weekend happy hour went a little longer!

Food- 2 1/2 shots. I only tried the French Fries (which mind you were actually really good) but it was pretty much standard bar fare without any healthy food other than the salads. I was looking for some kind of quick veggies but was FORCED to go for the greasy fries instead.

Bartenders- 3 1/2 Shots. Although they were not the attractive bartenders that you usually find in Los Angeles they were very quick and very attentive. I got my fries, my beer, and my check right away! And I wasn’t made to feel like a loser to be spending my early Sunday evening in a bar alone reading.

A special thanks to the Las Vegas Airport for making my trip to Millers Field happen… if Chris hadn’t gotten stuck on the runway I would never have had time to enjoy a little San Diego Happy Hour!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Top Budget Champagnes: Blason de Bourgogne- Cuvee Brut

I figured for my reviews of the top Budget Champagnes (and trust me I plan on tasting ALL of them) I should probably start with my favorite! Just because you are on a budget doesn’t mean you should be stuck with ghetto wines… and as much as I do occasionally enjoy my 2-buck Chuck it’s always nice to branch out and try different things. So for my top favorite of budget Champagnes I give to you Cuvee Brut. Its 8 dollars from Trader Joes (a really great deal let me tell you) and comes the closest to tasting like one of my favorite pricier Champagnes Vive Clique (Orange Label). The Cuvee Brute was dry, crisp, and surprisingly light. For those wine snobs it’s from France (Burgundy) and officially is termed “sparking wine” with a very subtle Apple and Nut taste to it. But really what you need to know is that it was great in my mimosas but was also able to stand out on it’s own for a good glass of champagne. I liked this one so much I’ve bought a couple more bottles, even though I’ve been slowly driving through TJ’s Champagne and Sparkling Wine section.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Cocktail of the Week: Hardt’s Tropical Sangria

Now of all the drinks that have been forced on my friends this one by FAR has been the group favorite. Originally tried out on a hot 4th of July in the Valley, but would recommend it for everything from Brunch to a Dinner Party. Best Part- you can feel “healthy” by serving it with a fork and you will have alcohol fruit! Now I changed (read messed up!) the original recipe and it came out fantastic. So here is my version, but feel free to add and change anything because that usually will make the best drinks. Originally it did have Mangos and Papayas but due to the fruit shortage at Trader Joes it became Mangos and Pineapples- still tasted great so feel free to experiment!

INGREDIENTS:
- 1 Bag Frozen Mangos
- 1 Bag Frozen Pineapple
- Passion Fruit Pulp (I used just the frozen concentrate but didn’t add the additional water to it)
- Rum (you can use either dark or light rum for this)
- Bottle of Pinot Grigio (don’t bother with the more expensive bottles, 2-buck chuck works great and it all will taste the same anyways in the end)
- Club Soda or 7-up

Step One: The night before
Fill a large pitcher with 16oz Rum, Mangos, and Pineapples. Mix together and leave in your fridge overnight.

Step Two: The day of
When ready to serve pour in the Pinot Grigio and 8-16 ounces of either Club Soda or 7-up. I mixed two different sets to try both of them and they tasted about the same. I prefer the club soda, but the 7-up will give it a sweeter flavor.

Now it’s ready to serve over a glass of ice!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Cocktail of the Week: Byrne-sicle (AKA Creamsicle)

INGREDIENTS:
- Orange Soda (or Orange Cream Soda if you want it extra sweet)
- Vanilla Vodka
- Either Ice or Vanilla Ice Cream

Step One:
Fill a large Pilsner Glass or Glass Mug with either Ice or Vanilla Ice Cream.

Step Two:
Add 2 shots of Vanilla Vodka.

Step Three:
Then just fill the Glass up to the top with Orange Soda. Stir and enjoy.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Happy Hour of the Week: Mexicali

Mexicali Cocina Cantina
12161 Ventura Blvd
Studio City, CA 91604-2515
Phone: (818) 985-1744

Rating: On a scale of 1 – 4 shots
Overall- 3.5 Shots


Location- 2 Shots. Since it’s in the Valley! But anyone from over that side of the hill will rate it a 5 since it’s in the middle of everything over there, and only a short canyon ride away from Hollywood and Beverly Hills.

Atmosphere- 2 shots. Although it’s a great bar it was pretty empty for a Monday night and the crowd was mostly much older (unattractive) men. Though as a disclaimer I have to say I’ve been here many times and it’s usually packed. But had to deduct a shot based on the fact it only has one Women’s restroom!

Drinks- 4 Shots. The Margaritas were good and cheap. During happy hour (4 – 5pm, Monday – Friday) it’s under 5 dollars for a regular margarita! But watch out the specialty margaritas are a little more. Though the low carb (AKA Jessica Simpson) is actually really good and worth the extra money!

Food- 3 shots. The foods great, usually a little over priced but you get big portions for your money. And on Monday night it’s 30% off all food so for 10 dollars I got a huge plate of nachos (too much for 3 people!) and a Margarita.

Bartenders- 4 Shots. They were attractive, quick and attentive.

A special thanks to Kelly and Alissa for enjoying Margarita Monday with me!